How to Talk to Anyone? | Book Review

Our face can give out a thousand expressions it seems. Not only me, all of you have the capability to bring out many emotions. These expressions are doormats which enable us to decide whether to have a conversation with someone or not. A lot of people tend to look at the face expressions before deciding whether to approach a person for conversation or not. The most important reason for 85 percent of the success in our lives is communication.
But our communication is often influenced by body language, the language that we speak etc. If communication is the main reason for 85 percent of our success... This book "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes explains how we can to talk to people.
Suppose there are lot of people in a party or in a particular room... You are talking to someone, But, a person interrupts.
Imagine that the person is your potential client or if it's someone you like and would love to have a conversation with... The attention that you give to them will decide whether the conversation is going to end immediately or whether the conversation will continue.
The right example for this is a kid... What will we do if a kid interrupts while we are talking? We will leave everything else and focus on the kid, right?
To make a person who is coming to talk to us feel special. We have to turn our full body towards them. Instead of turning your head to greet them...
If you turn your body as a whole and greet them... and if your full body faces the person..
. They will feel special. All of this happens sub-consciously. You haven't greeted them yet. But, this Baby's pivot strategy effectively conveys that the other person is important to us.
Sometimes we might not know whether we like the person who mingles with us often. But, if we are going to meet someone for the first time... we might be doubtful as to whether we like the person or not.
.. We might be doubtful whether that person likes us or not.
We are asked to use Chandramukhi strategy in this scenario. Before meeting that person.
.. If you are able to fool your mind and convince yourself that the person is your old friend and that you like the person. then your body language will change accordingly. Once you are able to convince your mind that you know the person.
.. Your body will listen to you and start creating positive vibes. And if you start pretending to like a person, you might end up liking that person eventually. Our brain will start listening to us.
We often hear that people with a smiling face are loved by all. Having a smiling face is not a bad thing, but if you smile at everyone... the person whom you are talking to might not have a special attraction towards it.
So, if someone smiles at us, we have to take a pause before we smile back at them. If I am looking around before smiling at you When I smile it should feel special for the other person. Have a smiling face...
but, take some time before you smile. Don't smile at everyone.
All of this holds true with regard to business. But, if it's a marriage or some other function, it is good to have a smiling face. Another important thing is.
.. If you keep smiling. then people won't approach you. Give a slow and credible smile to the person you want to approach you On the other hand, if someone asks about the place where you are from.
.. Then the first question should be Who is the person asking me? If the person is a college student.
Then you have to talk about the special features of your place which might interest the person... before telling the name of the place If the person is a doctor, then you can talk about famous hospitals in your place.
.. when you do that...
the doctor will feel happy. If a college student asks this... you can talk about famous spots near your place and tell them the distance from the spot to your house.
Giving further details about your area. When a person asks such questions, it will be easier to to start a conversation and ask further questions. If we find it very difficult to start a conversation...
When you go to a meeting, a party or a place where there are a group of people... If there is something unique about you, people will walk up to you and talk about it. So, it is better to wear a unique attire.
A person I know used to wear a shell around his neck. For me, people always ask about my tattoo. Even a small unique thing about you will serve as a good conversation starter. Another important thing..
. When the other person does not get the opportunity to talk, they will not have a conversation with us.
How to Talk to Anyone? | The Bookshow ft. RJ Ananthi | Book Review

So, they need a space to share something. If you let the other person speak without interrupting them, then you will always be in their good books. If you look back at the conversation after the person leaves, you will realise that you haven't done anything special.
You would have patiently listened to what they were speaking. That is said to be one of the best strategies. If you are someone who talks less...
just listen to what the other person is talking. When the other person is talking, we can't be idle. So, we can just use parroting technique to repeat what they are saying and answer in the affirmative.
This is all about repeating what the other person is saying. When we repeat, the other person will start explaining more about the topic.
They will feel good about the conversation, and you will also feel good for being able to answer them. Another important strategy is... If you want a conversation to develop beyond the usual Hi and Hello.
.. Then there should be something for us to talk about. Beyond the usual dressing up and being presentable..
.. Our attire should be actually help further the conversation. Read the newspaper or check out Social Media..
. Once you get an idea about the latest happenings around you... If the person you are going to meet belongs to a particular field or profession.
.. Suppose a protest is happening connected to the profession If you ask about the protest...
They will feel happy that you are actually concerned about the difficulties in their field and open up to you. In one of the shops... the owner has told the saleswomen in his shop.
.. The talk about the product should be only 40 percent, the other 60 percent should be about happenings around the world If the person who knows so much is selling this shoe.
Then the shoe must definitely be a good one. That is the belief of the customer. Such conversations are said to be very vital. Just like how Genelia says Thank you, when she is complimented in the movie Sachien. When someone compliments us, we don't know how to react.
We just say Thank You. But, it is said that a mere thank you is not enough. Follow up the thank you with details of why you are thanking a person. The other person will take it as a return compliment. For example if someone is complimenting your dress.
You can thank them for noticing and tell them that you like the dress and tell the person that you are glad about being noticed. Then, the other person will also feel happy for complimenting you. There is a common mistake that I also commit...
when someone compliments our dress by saying that it is nice If we tend to be dismissive and insult them...
This implies that we are insulting the other person's taste. So, don't ever do that, If someone compliments you It means that they like something about that dress.
If we dismiss their compliment, It will imply that the other person's taste is not good. So, Fill your thank you's with more words. In the same way if someone compliments you accept it gracefully. Suppose you have managed to mingle with a gang of people..
. How to fit in and gain the acceptance of the gang? If the members of the gang are already friends and you are the new member.
Then it will be difficult for you to mingle. Then the easiest option is... is to remove "I" in a conversation and stress on the "We" so that everyone feels included.
Sub-consciously everyone will feel that they are part of the discussion. But, nowadays meetings and gatherings are very less. All major conversations happen over the phone. We might not know whether the other person is really paying attention to us over the phone. When we are talking over the phone, there are chances of the other person getting diverted.
So, it is better to use the other person's name often.
Just like how our pet dog notices us when we call out it's name In the same way even when we are diverted during a phone conversation... when our name is mentioned we get back to the conversation automatically.
We can use such strategies during a conversation. This book has 92 strategies in total. I couldn't explain all of them, I explained just 9 strategies I guess. Many small things which will help in a business setup are mentioned in this book. If you want the book, click the link in the description and buy the book.
Many years ago Dale Carnegie has written solutions with statistics on how to approach people. That is also mentioned in this book. Dale Carnegie did it years ago, This book is an upgraded version. If you are eager to get hold of Dale Carnegie's basic version.
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